TOP FIVE POSTS FROM LAST WEEK:

1.WARNING: DON’T GO TO THE BAR TONIGHT

Went out to the your old hometown bar on Thanksgiving eve? Got into a fist fight with your high school best friend and then threw up on your ex while you two were trying to have a quickie in the alley behind the pub? Luke O’Neil tried to save you…. READ MORE

2.GRATIS RECOUP: 12 DUMB PICS

In case the four-day holiday drinking binge didn’t completely stun your brain, Gratis Recoup is here to finish the job. READ MORE

3.NATIONAL OPT-OUT DAY

Benjamin Leo demands nuns be patted down because, hey, who knows what they’ve got under those things? READ MORE

4.DON’T TREAD ON MY JUNK

Gavin McInnes explains how to conceal a Glock 9 in your anal cavity. READ MORE

5.THE PEACH: THE ORIGINAL KLAN BAR?

Contributor L. Kill-B reviews a nice place to grab a bite. READ MORE

EDITOR’S PICK:

YOUR YOUTH’S NEW VIDEO IS FULL OF 40s, CHICKS AND SLIPS

Brooklyn power pop band Your Youth releases a music video so full of partying, it’s spilling all over the place. READ MORE

TOP FIVE POSTS FROM LAST WEEK:

1.WORD ON THE STREET: WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU FAILED?

Word on the Street brings us an interview with a 31-year-old Andrew W.K. in Midtown. Seems like an interesting chap. READ MORE

2.MY 10 BEST JOKES

Gavin’s top ten retweeted jokes, plus a few extras. READ MORE

3.FOUND: CHAFED

What a dickhead. READ MORE

4.RIP FOUR LOKO: 2K8-2K10

To mark the passing of this fine beverage, a 21-shot salute is in order — which is roughly the equivalent of one Four Loko. READ MORE

5.DEAR STREET CARNAGE: I ALMOST HAD A THREESOME

Street Carnage reader Eric Fritz shares with us his erotic journey to D.C., where all dreams go to die. READ MORE

THE RE-ANIMATE BILL HICKS CONTEST:

FREE SHIT! FUNNY STUFF! AHHH, DO IT! ENTER HERE

TOP FIVE POSTS FROM LAST WEEK:

1.SO SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING THEY’RE SICK OF THE TEA PARTY – JIM GOAD VS. PATTON OSWALT

Jim Goad and Patton Oswalt slug it out over the Tea Party. Will it be Earl Grey or English Breakfast? READ MORE

2.THE WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING FACEBOOK POST

Contributor LB describes the latest advancement in Facebook’s life-ruining technology: ultra spam. READ MORE

3.HEY LADIES: STOP BEING “NICE” TO FUCKING DOORMEN

Benjamin Leo teaches you the proper response to your doorman Rolando’s “Ey, mami.” READ MORE

4.ASK BARF: HOW DO I TELL MY ARTIST FRIEND SHE SUCKS?

Lesley Arfin helps a reader focus her jealously into revenge, thereby crushing her friend in success rather than a garbage compactor. READ MORE

5.WHAT IS A HIPSTER?

The greatest question of our epoch receives another answer, this time from Taeil Kim (with a little help from Orwell). READ MORE

EDITOR’S PICK:

GRATIS RECOUP: 12 DUMB PICS

Gratis Recoup is back and dumber than ever. (We missed you.) READ MORE